Sarah P - Final Blog

So this week I was shopping in Toys R Us when I noticed something very interesting. There is a video game line for Nintendo DS that is targeted for little girls-its called Imagine That or Imagine Me. Girls get to play having a life of certain professions- and which ones do you think they had for girls?? School teacher, baby sitter, FASHION DESIGNER, and family doctor. Ok I'll give the doctor one kudos but I'm sure it's not the top seller. Lets instead encourage little girls to be caregivers or to use their talents designing clothes. Forget the millions of other professions women have-corporate CEO, government representatives, labor worker, etc etc. Those ones are no fun so we shouldn't design a video game to encourage those kinds of professions. This really ticked me off and I think it's sad how we limit little girls in every possible way. I hope someone out there has seen other professions offered by this game so I can sleep at night!

Illia - Eureka Moment 6

I had my eureka moment this week while reading the epilogue of our text. I found it interesting how it reflects back on all that we've learned while reading the text but also looks forward and makes it a point that what we've learned can be used in the future. I have learned a lot in taking this course and I have a new outlook on the term gender and the different areas I can learn about in. Like the text says "What gender and culture will mean in the future is up to you." (pg. 317). We can all take what we have learned and grow from that and educate others or we can ignore what we have learned and let others dictate what norms are when it comes to genders and cultures. Our text has a section labeled Taking A Voice and I think it is relevant because if we can all find a way to set aside our differences then maybe we can change the future we are heading towards. I think we need to be more open minded and accepting of the genders and cultures that surround us even if we do not understand them or agree with their ways.

Chris P - Week 6

My Eureka moment of the week happened today while at work go figure! Ha Well we were having a department party for a girl who is going to be getting married on Friday and today was her last day until July 6th. Well I offered to make a cake and bring it in, so I did that. Well boy did that get a lot of attention. Comments ranged from my girlfriend had to have made it or my mom made it. Everyone was so shocked I had made a cake. I couldn’t understand why it was such a big deal. But then I looked back at this class and see that people always perceive women do the baking and men can’t cook. I actually was kind of aggravated that is was such a big deal. One women from another department said men are usually the ones who bring in the chips or pretzels because when you see them you no a man must of brought them in. That comment is what struck to me to think I just had my Eureka moment. Everyone loved my cake I made and still some doubted I had made it. I don’t understand why can’t a 21-year-old guy make a cake? It’s not that hard!!! This perception seems to still linger today and more men cook and bake then people realize. It’s not just a womens job and it’s something guys are stereotyped all the time as not being able to cook or bake! Well I think this is a issue that needs to be changed!

Ashley Eureka Moment

I work on a staff of 8 men and 8 women. For the most part we all work really well together. I just don't think we all do an equal amount of work. With the exception of a few, it's always the males doing the manual labor like moving furniture or lifting heavy boxes and the females are usually doing office work at the computer or at the desk. It kind of bothers me that we don't switch roles. I feel that it is expected for the men to do the manual labor and for the women to sit at the desk. I try my best to do both, I just wish everyone else on the staff would. I think that if we switched roles or we did half and half we would all learn something. We learn new things everyday, and by working together and doing new things, we are gaurenteed to learn new things.

Final Eureka Moment - Gendered Lives

I completed the final reading in our text and then happened to read the "About the Author" section in the beginning of the book. Once I realized that Julia T. Wood was a professor at UNC where my daughter goes to school, I decided to email her last night and she already responded. My Eureka moment this week is a culmination of all of the Eureka moments I had throughout this class and I decided to share that with the author of our text. Thank you Prof M.

Here was the email I sent Julia Wood:
In a message dated 6/23/2009 11:07:28 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, duckett@rider.edu writes:

Dr. Wood,I am continuing studies student at Rider University in New Jersey, and I am taking my last two courses in pursuit of a degree that had alluded me for over 30 years (after a 25 year break). At the tender age of 47, I have had the great fortune to take courses that have stimulated my intellect, peaked my interests, and at times flipped my world upside down. The course that most exemplified this was called Gender and Communications, and on-line class taught by Professor Susan J. McManimon, where your book Gendered Lives was the text book used. I am a father of 3 young women (22, 19, & 18) and you would think I would be one of the world's great feminists looking out for the interests of my daughters. However your book and the format in which it was presented to us not only opened my eyes to old ideas and behaviors, but as I shared with my class, gave me the courage to change my ways and proudly become an activist. Professor McManimon was able to use your book where the class incorporated many ways of discussing the topics using today's technology including Blackboard Discussion Boards, Blogs and even building our own Wiki page for a final research project. It was amazing to see many students in our class transform (both female and male) in regards to the way we had held on to old perceptions and beliefs handed down by our families and reinforced by society. I think you would be impressed if you were able to look at some of these projects. I decided to build my final project on a Historical look at Gendered Advertising after reading Chapter 11 in your book.

The book was so engaging, that I never felt like I was reading a text book, but rather gaining an insight to life, which is probably why I found it so hard to put it down. Reading the epilogue tonight, was a real call to action for me personally. There are moments in one's life that are truly transformative and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for writing this book and sharing your (and your students') experiences, which have changed me forever.

Right before I put down the book (which I will keep and not sell), I decided to read the "About the Author" section and then I was to thrilled to see our connection. My second daughter Elisa is a sophomore at UNC-Chapel Hill with an a major in international business! I hope she has the ability to take a course taught by you - I know I wish I could!

Sincerely,
Mario Duckett

Julia T. Wood responded this morning with:

Dear Mario,

Your email made my day; no, it made my summer! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know that my book was valuable to you. I wish I could have visited your class as it sounds as if Dr. McManimom is a fabulous and creative teacher. I share her enthusiasm for teaching gender and communication--it is my favorite course to teach at Carolina. Perhaps I will have the good fortune to meet your daughter, Elisa, while she is studying on our campus. I certainly hope so.

All the best,

Julia

Julia T. Wood
Lineberger Distinguished Professor
University of North Carolina
Chapel Hill NC

Sarah P - Week 5

So in my other class, War and Peace in Vietnam, we got to watch Born on the 4th of July for a little added insight. One theme that was very strong in the film was this idea that-at the time-in order to become a man, one must fight in a war. It was instilled in boys so much that play time usually included war play. And as high-schoolers the film portrays a drill sergeant type coach who calls the boys "ladies" to get them to work harder. Their entire manliness depended on them enlisting and it made we wonder something along with this weeks theme of a men's movement-are men in our generation "lost" so to speak because they don't have that one monumental event that passes them into manhood? Without wars to fight and prove your self worth with, what else do they have? I mean granted we have a war now for people to enlist in, but this isn't a Ra!Ra! war like World War II or Vietnam. Most people don't even care let alone agree with this war. But our grandfathers and some of our fathers faught for our country and became men-usually at the ripe age of 18 or 19-in doing so. Now adays you've got 30 years old men living at home with mommy and daddy. Why has this happened? What has society done to cause men to loose sight of that passage into manhood? What can even be done about it? I think the lack of answers explains why men feel a need for a "movement." They blend into society now. They have no major responsibility to society as a whole. There is no sense of community. It actually makes me glad I am not a man! Wow...

Rhiannon week #5 eureka moment

My Eureka moment actually came to me while reading Christopher's post to this weeks discussion board topic. In his response, he mentioned the topic of child custody. He discussed how in the majority of situation's, the court will favor the mother, rather than the father in a custody battle. In the text, Woods states that to be feminine, is to be physically attractive, deferential, emotionally expressive, nurturing, and concerned with people and relationships (Wood 24). The key word in this sentence for purpose of my eureka moment, being nurturing. As I explained in my response to Christopher's post, I have realized that the term nurturing does not necessarily always apply. The point I am trying to make is that I agree that men are just as capable of taking care of children. The reason I have chosen this as my eureka moment is that recently my uncle divorced his wife, and took custody of all four of his kids. My aunt, was never a good mother for her kids. She doesn't have that sense of nurturing that all women are supposedly supposed to have. My uncle is a far better provider and parent for my cousins than she could ever be.

Week #5 Eureka Moment

This past week I had a Eureka moment while watching a remake of Grey Gardens on HBO starring Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore. The original was a documentary made in the 70's and depicted the everyday lives of the Edith Beales, a reclusive socialite mother and daughter (of the same name) who lived at Grey Gardens, a decrepit mansion in the wealthy neighborhood of the Hamtpons in New York. The movie has become iconic over the years, a real part of American culture. Edith "Big Edie" Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale were the aunt and first cousin of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis which is why the story was so tragic but yet so intriguing. The mother was so controlling and even named her daughter after herself. I know this happens occassionally and it made me wonder if surnames are used when daughthers are named after their mother (e.g., Jr.). As the credits rolled by at the end of the movie, there it was the daughter's name was Edith Bouvier Beale Jr. - I couldn't believe it. It was the first time I had ever seen that in my life - and I only noticed because of this class. My question to you bloggers is: Would you ever consider naming your daughter after yourself (females) or her mother (males)? And if so, would you attach JR to their name?

Neeru - Week #4 Eureka

Hi everyone, its Eureka time again. I’ve been on such an honest streak so why not continue. This week’s reading dealt with opposite sex friendship and although I responded on the DB I kept that on target with the text book. I’m using this blog to put my real life experiences out for everyone to read. So here goes...I am not going to criticize everyone that has had or held an opposite sex friendship but for me personally it does not work. I had a couple of close opposite sex friendships that all ended in the same manner…either I wound up liking them or they wound up liking me. It just wound up being a bad situation. My last male friendship was with a male at my work. We had a lot in common and enjoyed joking around during the day. He was someone that I was not attracted to in a sexual manner. We were friends for about a year when he started having marital problems and began venting to me about his wife. Being a woman naturally I was a good listener and consoler. He eventually expressed his love for me and I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say or do. I transferred departments shortly after to move away from him. I still talk to him but in a very limited fashion. Since then I have not thought about having a male friendship with anyone. I will give anyone a chance because I’m too afraid. For so many years I felt so bad and guilty and was relieved to find out from our text that the feelings were only natural due to gender norms. Since my encounter I no longer pursue or encourage opposite sex friendships because I just don’t see it as a possibility. Everything seems to start out ok but the more you share the closer you get and then you become vulnerable.

Shaina - Eureka Moment Week # 4

I couldn't sleep- I saw a comercial that I couldn't help but come on to my blog and my week's Eureka moment. It was for orange juice. It's a new Tropicana version that is less calories and less sugar, and the woman who is obviously a perfectly fit and sexified house wife is overjoyed and dancing because of how excited she is to have tasted this new orange juice. Yes- I'm on a diet- so the new 50% "healthier" "Trop50" does make me happy, assuming it doesn't taste like artificial sweetner. But, I wouldn't exactly say that I feel like picking up a spoon and singing in to it like I have no other more important things to do like have a career? Also, this commercial objectifies women because the actress used is beautiful, blonde, and parched so she needs to run to the fridge in order to be saved by something, even if it is orange juice. She is wearing heels and a very nice outfit, so maybe she is supposed to be coming home from a long day at work- but judging by the brightness of the kitchen it doesn't seem like it's supposed to be after a long day of work. Her sexual dancing is completely irrelevant to the fact that its a commercial for orange juice. They even take it as far as for her to be doing a split at the end- and then show her hand reaching up and putting the glass on the counter, as if we cannot see what happens next.
And if I wasn't convinced enough with the TV down low so I couldn't hear the song choice... when I googled the commercial I found that these are the words associated with coming into the kitchen and finding low calorie OJ:

(song lyrics):"Well she's all you'd ever want,She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.Well she always knows her place.She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady."
(announcer):"Taste the goodness, Feel the difference"

Check the video out, and let me know what you think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GzVpG3jfR4

PS- This was shown on late night Home and Garden Television (HGTV)

Sarah – Week 4 - Men and Women

This week my boyfriend and I got into a heated discussion about whether or not men and women can be just friends. I was seeking his opinion as I did my discussion board for the week and he helped me clarify my point of view. Initially I felt that no, men and women cannot be just friends because sex always comes up. If sex comes up at all, how can they ever be just friends. But he felt that once the issue is addressed and dealt with, as in once one person makes it clear to the other person that they are not interested, that they can continue a friendship. But my question was that even if the issue comes up even once, that it proves men and women cannot be just friends. My male friends have been around for over 15 years, but I'd be lieing if I denied that once in our youth having relationships wasn't addressed. So can men and women be just friends without the issue of sex or relationships coming up even once? The answer in my opinion is no. I feel that the friendship can exist after the issue is addressed, but it always always comes up at least once. Men and women naturally feel closer to each other in friendships and its only natural to want that person to be your mate, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way!

Eureka Moment Week #4

This past week has been a killer with school work (this class, papers due for my other class - History of Vietnam), work work and family work. I am sure I have a few Eureka moments but I have probably been too tired to notice them. One thing that has happened, and you will see this on my final project, is just how far we haven't come in regards to gender and sexism. The more research I do, the more depressed I get realizing how the odds are STILL stacked up against my precious little girls. It doesn't mean that can't overcome them, a lot of the women in this class obviously have. I think about they way women are still treated in the workplace, in their homes and in social environments and for the most part, women are still perceived as second-class citizens.

I think I became a feminist the day my third daughter was born. After this class, I think I want to become an activist as well.

Illia P – Eureka #3

This week I had my eureka moment while watching the news. I heard the story about the little 11 yr. old girl who was sexually assaulted in Philadelphia. i heard the story on the news and thought about Chapter 11 in our text and how it referenced to Gender and Violence.

I believe the little girl was walking and the guy came up to her and told her he had a gun and took her to an isolated place where her proceeded to sexually assault her. When he saw her he knew that it would be a matter of Power, which he had over and used to his advantage since he was bigger than she was and older. Of the six types of gendered violence described in our text I think that this is an example of both Gender Intimidation (pg. 285) and Sexual Assault (pg. 286).

This story is an example of Gender Intimidation because when he approached her he made her feel frightened and unsafe. Prior to and when the sexual assault occurred she may have felt inferior to him because of the fact that she is just a little girl who didn't stand a chance at fighting back. Afterward, the little girl, as even older women do, will feel humiliated and sometimes place the blame on themselves.

I think it is also an example of Sexual Assault because it was a rape which is "one type of sexual assault". It included a "sexual activity that occurs without the informed consent of at least one of the people involved."

When I read Chapter 12, I couldn't believe that it said according to a legal definition, "a man or woman who is forced to have sex with another man has not been raped". To me that doesn't make any sense or is coming from someone who has never been sexually assaulted or has a family member that has been through this ordeal. I think anytime someone is forced to engage in or commit a sexual activity that they do not want to do or are not aware of, like when intoxicated, should be considered rape.

Neeru – Eureka #3 – I’m a hypocrite

I’m sitting here thinking and thinking about what my Eureka moment should be this week. My first thought was the sexual portrayal of woman on a couple VH1 dating shows but I saw that someone has already touched base on that. Then it just hit me out of nowhere! Here I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. I am a landlord and recently evicted my tenant for not paying her rent. Whenever there is a new tenant moving in we must apply for a renter’s certificate of occupancy from the Township. The Township comes out and walks throughout the unit to ensure it is safe, clean, and up to code for the future tenants. Lately with this unit the Township has been nit picking on the smallest cosmetic things which we feel is unnecessary to be fixed or changed. I have no problem fixing things that are unsafe or not up to code. My husband never has any luck with these guys and walks away with a 3 page list of items that need to be taken care of prior to the new tenant occupying the unit. This time we decided that I would meet the Township for the inspection instead of my husband because I am an attractive woman and may be let off easier. Well I took off Monday and met Kenny from the Township at the property for the inspection and it went extremely well. Kenny let me off the hook so to speak with many cosmetic repairs. Maybe it was luck that he was allot nicer than the other inspectors that have come out in previous years or maybe it was the fact that I was a pretty girl in a dress? I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, especially after this weeks reading assignment!

Maria’s Eureka Moment #3

Recently I realized how I act when I feel pressured by someone in conversation to respond a certain way. I was conversing with a possible roommate about when he could visit my house. He wanted to see the apartment when he was available, as any person would want to, which was this week. I knew I really had little to no free time this week, along with a couple of other deterrents to keep me from showing him my place. However, because he was persistent, and a bit pushy, I easily caved and said that I would meet with him soon. I believe many women may communicate similarly in which they do whatever they can to preserve the peace in conversations, as well as to keep the other party happy and content while sacrificing their needs. I realize sometimes I value being nice over being honest and doing what is best for myself. Women are taught, since birth, to be sweet, gentle, loving, and to not create conflict. By calling a girl "precious", "sugar", and other names we could unconsciously make her believe that she needs to act "perfect" in order to receive compliments, or being "nice" makes her a good person. This fact was also apparent in a radio show that I listened to while in the car. The announcer was talking about a female artist named Jas Stone. The female announcer said that this artist "used to be such a nice girl" and that the artist's new push away from her recording label somehow took away from her nice demeanor. The radio announcer then went on to talk about another artist, Bruce Springsteen, and described him using stronger words such as "Bruce and his rocking music" and did not reveal details about his character. This is because society believes that it is more important for a woman to be nice, and a guy to be strong and/or cool. I was outraged at how this female artist was being depicted, simply because she was showing assertion. Through these realizations, I decided to call the possible renter back, and better express my needs. Next time I will be more aware of the "nice girl" stereotype, and I will work harder to defy it.

Eureka Moment - Week #3

What a day! It started yesterday at 4:00am when I had to get up and drive to Connecticut for an all day meeting with a new business partner, and then turn around and drive back at 5:00pm in NY traffic. On the way home, I found out I was accepted into Rider's MBA program! I drove straight to my youngest daughter's Senior Award night in High School where she received 6 awards and some nice scholarship money (just a proud pappa moment!). She is going to attend Rider next year - so yes we will be attending the same university in the fall - wow - is there a course on how to deal with that?

After the awards, we went to dinner and as most dinner conversations have been focused on lately, we discussed Gender issues (and yes I surrendered the head of the table to my daughter - after all it was her night). We talked about the seating, women's soccer and ended up on women's names and marriage. I was letting them know how unfair it is that society automatically assumes that they will take on their husband's name (and history). I tried to convice them that they should fight to keep their last name and if a man really loves them, he will take "my" - I mean "their" last name. Of course my daughters saw right through my self-serving message in a weak attempt to continue my lineage, since I have no sons. That got a good laugh at the table.

That led to a discussion on how women are still often defined by their marital status with a title of Miss or Mrs., even though Ms. has been around for quite some time. Another one of those inequalities, since men are always called Mr. whether or not they are married. I asked everyone at the table how I should address a female in the business world - is it always Ms.? Do I look for a ring and if I see one address her as Mrs.? I would appreciate if the women in this class would weigh in on this and offer their opinion.

When I asked my youngest daughter her opinion on what title she would want to be called by when she got married - her response - DR. - EUREKA!!!