One thing I have come to realize is that most of my Eureka! moments are happening as I read our text, "Gendered Lives". Awareness is what is triggering the transformative events. For example, when reading Chapter 6, I came across the paragraph on page 146 that discussed Proximity and Personal space.
I thought back to a dinner I had last week with my entire family last week where we were all in Arizona celebrating my oldest daughter's graduation from Arizona State University. I walked into a very nice restaurant with my wife and three daughters and they sat us at a table for 5 with one chair at the "head of the table". One of my daughter's jokingly sat in that chair, at which point I said "now you know who's seat that is!". I now realize that I had assumed the head chair (which exists in my household as well) went to the only male in the family - me! I somehow perceived this as a reward for for living with all women. In reality all I have done is impose my views on gender roles on my daughters.
I am starting to notice my non-verbal queues that I give my wife (their mother) when we communicate and how they are on display in full living color with my daughters as spectators. And this has been going on for a long time. One of the earliest memories my daughters have is to "stay out of Dad's office!". I keep saying that I want my girls to break out of any pre-defined gender roles that would impede them from being anything they want to be, but my actions continually reinforce our society's definition of how they should act and what they should accept.
I am not going to say I am not a good father, because I am, but I will say that I need to become a better feminist.
Week # 6 Good bye for now....
15 years ago
Something that defiantly has been an old tradition is the head of the table, which was always the man of the house. I think that it interesting that you state that because many times in every household this is set and people just never realize it. The man sitting at the head of the table is a symbol of power to him and others and this is such an old tradition. I don’t think that in today’s world it is seen as any status symbol, but it’s still kind of unique how it still goes on. I think it would be weird to see the kid sitting at the head of the table. It defiantly would need to get used to seeing that. It’s not so much a gender role anymore, but a habit that just is never ending. : )
ReplyDeleteYes, I can identify with your post this week. I have a three year old and teach communication and yet, am catching my words and noticing more than ever the power they hold.
ReplyDelete