Kristen's Week #2 "Becoming Gendered from Birth"

This week my Eureka Moment came to me in the 7th chapter of our reading. I could not believe how gendered we really are from babies on up. I always new we wore pink of we were a girl and blue for boy BUT I never though about only being able to play with "girl" toys or not being able to do certain things like get dirty because I am a girl. When I was little my father did so much with me. i went fishing and baited my own line, went bowling, also my dad is a mechanic so I always wanted to pretend I was fixing cars. So maybe I was one of the few children who was allowed to do "boy" things. Really, what was my Eureka Moment was the fact that parents went so over board to make sure their girls were girly and their boys were boyish. Is it really that big of a deal if your son likes dolls at the age of 2 or 3. My brother is going on 5 and when he was about 2 he use to take my purse and walk around with it. i thought my dad and boyfriend were going to pass out!! It was ok when I was little to want to fish and play with cars BUT my brother canNOT touch my purse!! I am interested in if any parents read this what they think since I am not a parent?!?!

Neeru's Eureka Moment - Week #2

After reading the assigned chapters it dawned on me that there is a particular guy at work using locker room language with only the woman at the office. It’s a guy in our IT department who takes help desk calls and fixes any technical problems with our computers. I called the help desk yesterday because my computer froze and the gentlemen came over to take a look at it and the first thing he says to me is, “Hello darling.” He took a seat in my chair to work on my computer and a few minutes later addressed me as “sweet heart.” There were several other people around since I don’t have an office, just a cubicle. L He addresses all women like this so I assume this is his norm behavior. I realized that this was a form of locker room language as our text put it. As he was working on my computer I thought why is it that he feels he can call woman by these pet names? Does he think we like it I thought? I can only assume that no one has confronted him about this and I didn’t have the nerve to either. It actually never bothered me before because I never “read” into the comments…until I read the text! After reading the text I come to the conclusion that I don’t appreciate this kind of talk anymore because it puts women down and gives the impression that we are passive. Now I pick up on everything that is being done and said around me at work, at school, at home. :)

Eureka Moment Week #2

One thing I have come to realize is that most of my Eureka! moments are happening as I read our text, "Gendered Lives". Awareness is what is triggering the transformative events. For example, when reading Chapter 6, I came across the paragraph on page 146 that discussed Proximity and Personal space.

I thought back to a dinner I had last week with my entire family last week where we were all in Arizona celebrating my oldest daughter's graduation from Arizona State University. I walked into a very nice restaurant with my wife and three daughters and they sat us at a table for 5 with one chair at the "head of the table". One of my daughter's jokingly sat in that chair, at which point I said "now you know who's seat that is!". I now realize that I had assumed the head chair (which exists in my household as well) went to the only male in the family - me! I somehow perceived this as a reward for for living with all women. In reality all I have done is impose my views on gender roles on my daughters.

I am starting to notice my non-verbal queues that I give my wife (their mother) when we communicate and how they are on display in full living color with my daughters as spectators. And this has been going on for a long time. One of the earliest memories my daughters have is to "stay out of Dad's office!". I keep saying that I want my girls to break out of any pre-defined gender roles that would impede them from being anything they want to be, but my actions continually reinforce our society's definition of how they should act and what they should accept.

I am not going to say I am not a good father, because I am, but I will say that I need to become a better feminist.

Why did I take this course?

As you can see in my "About Me" profile, I have been blessed with three wonderful daughters. I initially wanted all boys, since I had no clue how to raise girls - since I had no experience being a girl! I will never forget when my third daughter was born and I knew at that moment I would have to throw away all of the stereotypes I had of a woman's role which had been imbedded in me by family and society. I saw this course and signed up immediately so that I could gain some insight on the challenges my daughters will face, and with that awareness, try and see if there are still any deep down perceptions that I need to deal with. I look forward to the discussions with all of you.